Matty's Movies: "Ex Machina"

Merriam Webster’s definition of Ex Machina:
a character or thing that enters the story in a novel, play, or movie, etc., and solves a problem that had previously seemed impossible to solve.

Matty’s definition of the same term, (before I looked it up):
Ex Machina: (Spanish); an ex-machine.

Clearly, I had no idea of what this film was about before going in. As a matter of fact, I wasn’t even pronouncing it correctly. I thought it was pronounced “Ex-machine-ah.” Yeah, I kind of looked dumb when I was purchasing my ticket.

Hey, what do I know. I’m not a linguist. I’m the Second Best Movie Reviewer in the World. If Mr. Merriam Webster wants to have a sit down with Mr. Movie Reviewer I’ll gladly school him on everything movie related… and he can learn me every single word in the dictionary.

But until then I’m sticking with movies.

So let’s get right to it.

Ex Machina is a science-fiction film about a brilliant man named Nathan,(Oscar Issac) who creates a female robot with A.I. (Artificial Intelligence). Nathan needs a male human subject to test his robot on, so he enlists a young, naive, intelligent man by the name of Caleb (Domhnall Gleeson) to see if this female robot can fool him into believing she has a consciousness.

I know you have many questions about this film, and I will try to touch on all of them throughout this article, but I will right away answer the ONE QUESTION that most men have had on their minds since they started reading this column…

Yes, you can make love to this robot. It has all the female genitalia needed to pleasure a man.

Now that we got that out of the way, let’s get back to the more adult, more important and more pressing questions of Ex Machina.

Is it possible for someone to create A.I.?
Well, brilliant people have been trying for years. For all I know I could’ve been watching this movie with a robot next to me and not known it.
(Note to self: Remind me to ask Matt Matsumoto if he’s a robot or not.) And wait, if he is an A.I., wouldn’t it behoove him to NOT tell me that he’s a robot?

See, THESE are the tough questions we need to ask ourselves about Artificial Intelligence. Not if we can make love to it.

Another question would be: If A.I. does exist, is it possible that these A.I. robots may want to exterminate the human race and take over the world?

Now THAT is a serious question that we need to know about A.I… NOT, can we make love to it?

Another one would be: If A.I. is possible and is in the works, can both humans and A.I. robots live peacefully, together in harmony?

And if so, would it be frowned upon if we made love to them?

Apparently, the most important question I gathered from watching this film is:Can we love to robots?

Now, at this point in my life the answer would be, NO, we cannot make love to robots. But you should’ve seen this robot! She was a smoke-show! She had a bangin’ robot body, a sexy voice, and boy could she listen! She was the coolest robot I’ve ever seen.

Her name was Ava, and she had me at hello.

Now about the film.

I thought it was phenomenal. Even though I just joked all the way through this article, there was a reason that I did. This film was so incredibly shot, acted, and story-told that I did not want to ruin it for you by writing a column about the film’s premise.

I think this is one of those films you just need to see for yourself.

I’ll tell you about the acting though.

Oscar Issac is growing on me as one of the better actors around today. I did not like him in Inside Llewyn Davis (but that’s because I didn’t like the film, not necessarily his acting). I LOVED him in A Most Violent Year. He is just as good in this film, and by the time we see him is Star Wars: The Force Awakens he’ll be at the top of my list of favorite actors. (Hey, that’s what happens when you’re in Star Wars.)

Domhnall Gleeson, (son of Brendan Gleeson) is an Irishman… And that right there is all you need to be on “Matty’s Cool Actors” list. (That, and he’s ALSO going to be in the next Star Wars film!) But honestly, the kid can act. (See him in the indie film Frank and you’ll see what I mean.) Solid actor.

Alicia Vikander played Ava the robot… And boy did she make me believe she was human. She is the reason that love-making robots may be a thing of the future.

And finally, Sonoya Mizuno played Kyoko, the most insanely sexy robot ever created. With robots like her who needs humans?

Which basically brings us full circle… “WE NEED SEXY A.I. ROBOTS, AND WE NEED THEM NOW!”

Get in touch with your congressmen and let’s fast track this issue.

Here’s something serious I will tell you… The definition of the film’s title is true to the story.

And one more serious blurb…

Ex Machina was fantastic. A must see! A great job was done by writer/director, Alex Garland.

Okay, I’m off to build myself a sexy sex robot. (Why do I have a funny feeling I’m gonna get myself hurt?)

Matty W. Kelley, reporting.
mattywkelley.com