When Car News China first reported on the vehicular monstrosity called the Dartz Kombat GOLD.RUSSIAN China Edition (yes, that is the official designation and yes, that’s the last time I’m going to write it like that) I immediately scoffed, wondering how could someone produce such a ridiculous thing.
Then I started browsing the Latvian company’s website, and it became much, much worse.
It starts with the brand’s “Born 2 B Royal” tagline, which describes the company as the “supplier of tzars, admirals, generals, and dictators since 1869.” If you read that without an exaggerated Moscow dialect, you’re doing it wrong.
Dartz’s historical breakdown is even more hilarious, basically reading like an episode of Drunk History.
After the firm’s first “era” of building wagons, rally cars, and Russian military vehicles in the early 1900’s, Dartz (called Russobalt at the time) embraced its new purpose of building armored cars in 1998.
With a clear goal of ridiculousness in mind, Dartz went to work. The luxurious, $1.5 million Prombron Red Diamond was born in 2010, dressed in ruby encrusted gauges, a Kevlar exterior coating, a tungsten diamond exhaust, and interior leather made from, you guessed it, whale penis skin.
It may sound crass, but don’t worry, there’s a politically correct L4P Ladies.Only edition as well, which is specifically designed “to avoid [kidnapping], hijacking, and other problems which can meet rich and lonely lady on the street.”
You may also recognize Dartz’s designs from Sacha Baron Cohen’s film The Dictator, where the Latvian company supplied the tyrant’s vehicle of choice.
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So, the Kombat Gold. Like most of Dartz’s vehicles, it’s a bit of a joke. It is mechanically impressive though, as it wears 7-centimeter thick body armor, weighs 6,613 pounds, and is equipped with an 8.0-liter, 456-horsepower GM engine.
Either way, whether you’re bashing it, praising it, analyzing it, or laughing at it, the Dartz Kombat Gold is an entertaining machine. And I suppose that’s the point.
(Photos via Car News China)
